Matthew Chapter 6

Our family are counting our blessings right now. I have has having a very challenging time as an extrovert who loves getting out of the house, PJ has been having a tough time at work with technicians calling off due to sickness or family issues, the kids are tired of being cooped up and the girls want to know why they can't go to class (Sunday school) or visit their friends...

It took several days, 7 stores, 5 actually shopped at, and countless back and forth trips (with and without kiddos), but we were finally able to get our normal shopping done and add some extra essentials so as to avoid going out too much again. PJ had to work 6 days last week and our schedule has been thrown off due to the lack of exercise - for Jessy and the kids.

This morning, PJ's alarm went off with NPR updates and I was ready to get up just so I didn't have to listen... However, the Lord is faithful to grant insight and perspective. As I listened to someone describe a program implemented in this state of emergency that all mortgage holders have 1 year of protection not to be foreclosed on due to CoVid-19. As I pondered this, I realized that I am in no position to complain or be frustrated.

I do not have to work outside our home, I get to be here with our kids who are not in pre-school or day care at this time. Their lives have not been shifted in any drastic way. My husband has a "critical" job that requires him to not only work, but he has been having to work overtime. Our budget is not hurting and we are not having trouble making rent. There is a lot of uncertainty in the world right now, but I am grateful for abundant blessings and resources He has granted.

He cares for the birds of the air, clothes the blades of grass in the field, of course He will provide food and water and shelter. All we are to do, brothers and sisters, is to "Seek first His Kingdom and righteousness and all these things will be added."

We miss our church family, we wish we could fellowship in person with them, but we have Zoom and can meet together with amazing technologies right now. We miss Disneyland and wish we were able to go have a family day, but we have Disney+ and dance parties at home and we can ride bikes and walk around our neighborhood (because we live in a place that has decent enough weather right now and is perfectly pleasant for outside activities).

The Earth is the Lord's and the Fulness Thereof

This is a loaded statement from the Psalms (Psalm 24:1). He is the Creator (Genesis 1:1). He has established all things. By His hand, He gives generous gifts (James 1:17). Yet, we live in a world cursed by sin (Genesis 3), one where we are at constant war with our flesh (Romans 7). Where all of our perfect gifts are seen with distorted and sinful vision. His ways are not our ways (Isaiah 55:8), through every trial, we are to find joy (James 1:2-3) - for He is pruning us (John 15:2).

Pruning is an unpleasant business. Since I am not a gardener, I will describe the refining illustration with better communication: When gold is refined, it is tested by fire to cleanse it from all impurities. Because of sin, God's perfect gift of motherhood is cursed by my selfishness and their rebellion. Yet, the Lord allows it, and I am being refined. He is sanctifying me by His Holy Spirit and granting me the privilege of mothering through the fiery trials. Learning to understand what He faces as our Father when we rebel.

I will not share the sins of others (namely, my children), but I will confess my impatience, my temper, my laziness, my distracted heart, and my self-focused goals. Being a mother is challenging, yet it is the calling I have of the Lord to seek His guidance and wisdom as I shepherd them. We have been so grateful for the lessons at small group from Kirk and Chelsea Cameron, The Heart of Family, and the encouragement we have found in our marriage and parenthood. We have been deeply blessed by the practical words of Paul David Tripp, Parenting: 14 Gospel Principles that Can Radically Change Your Family, remembering that we cannot control our children's hearts - only guide their minds.

Putting these things into practice is the work of the Holy Spirit, though, and when I try to do it my my own will and strength, my Heavenly Father reminds me - through my children's Awana verses and prayer - that He is in charge (Awana Cubbie Bear Hug lessons and verse memorizations from Appleseed).

As I was reviewing verses with my kiddos the other night, I reached a point when they simply walked away to go play (between getting ready for bed activities) where I was just too tired to go after them. I continued reviewing the Bible verses out loud, knowing that time spent hiding His Word in my heart is never wasted (2 Timothy 3:16). I said Romans 5:8 aloud, ...while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." I stopped to reflect on this...

While we were still sinners. While we were His enemies. While He knew that I would scream at my children. While He knew that I would selfishly think on my own desires while He asked me to parent these children (His children). While I was still scorning His righteousness out of a desire to serve myself. While He knew that I would fail... He died for me. Christ took nails into His hands and was pierced at His side praying, "Father forgive them..." He suffered that I may bear His righteousness, though I am a wretched sinner...

Of course there was more to these thoughts in the moment, but the point is, He is faithful to remind me of His goodness no matter what I am feeling. These children are His, He has granted me and my husband the privilege of shepherding their hearts as their parents here on earth.

I was reminded recently, also, that when we sin, we not only stop doing what is sinful, we must repent and turn toward obedience. This means turning to something else. When you try to stop a bad habit, you must replace it with a new one. You can replace it with something else bad, or you can replace it with a good one, but it will manifest in replacement. If we are to repent of our sin, we are to replace it with righteousness, we will find His righteousness in His Word.

If I must repent of my impatience and frustration with my children, I must find what His Word says about children and replace my self-focus with aligning my heart with His. One of my favorite passages regarding children is found in Psalm 127:

(3) Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. (4) Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. (5) Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate. (ESV)

I plan to meditate and memorize these verses and start here in developing a right perspective of parenthood and children. 

Murphy or Procrastination: Discovering the Difference

If you have followed Dave Ramsey at all, you know that he talks about not buying a house when you are broke because Murphy will inevitably invite himself over and bring his cousins Broke, Desperate and Stupid to stay in your guest bedrooms. Sometimes, though, Murphy comes when you don't own and are just renting - he just comes in different forms.

As soon as we turned around and decided to get Gazelle Intense on our debt, we did our October budget and for the first time ever, Southern California Edison began the Public Safety Power Shutoff program. I won't get into it here, because there are many levels at which their logic and practices make me angry, but to give you a short story, we lost power in 3 spurts for 139 hours during the month of October. It was a great opportunity to purge our fridges and freezers, however, it also led to an increased grocery bill of over $200. There was no way to get around that. We still had to pay our other bills and eat.

We do budget monthly for repairs and maintenance on our vehicles, however, before October, the monies were really just theory and we haven't actually been setting aside that money throughout the year. Well, since we were not diligent up front with the purchase of our van and postponed necessary to-do's, we are stuck with a van that just passed smog, but wouldn't again because of a $1500 catalytic converter replacement. Also, upon the purchase, we were informed that the back tires needed to be replaced (the front we just replaced) and we would require an alignment. The tires needed for our vehicle will run, retail, about $600, and the alignment will cost us about $100. We are looking at a base price of $2,200 to fix our family clunker.

The absolute most we could sell it for, private sale, would be about $2500. If we fix the catalytic converter, we might get about 3K, however, for $1500, we might as well just take the lesson and fix the clunker and move on. I'm grateful that I was able to rearrange the budget to take care of the tires and the mechanic noted that I can get away with the converter for another month, so we made space in the budget next month. First week in December, we will take care of the converter and alignment and hopefully, America's tire will run their Black Friday 10% rebate special on Sunday the 1st.

On another note, Hubby's care needs an oil change as well as a tire rotation. There was a debate as to whether it should affect our budget or if we should just take care of it with the cushion from all of his extra hours - especially since $50/mo has already been earmarked from previous months. Again, these monies have not been pulled and set aside for maintenance, and we weren't really sticking to our budget in the first place, so I'm not sure it counts. There are 5 days left of this month and we need to work through sticking to this budget.

Committing to a budget and working through all of the difficulties is challenging, but I already know that it is worth it. Knowing exactly how much we have gives me so much more freedom to spend on our household needs, as well as on fun. The level of improved communication, alone, is worth working through this budget for.

Struggles and Snuggles

So, we've made it to mid-August and for the first time in months, we are trying to upkeep our budget. Yes, we are struggling to steward well right now. I'm grateful that the Lord has been faithful to protect us from our own foolishness by granting wise counselors in our life who have strongly advised that we wait until we have saved a minimum of 20% down prior to searching for a home; and - having listened to enough Dave and other Ramsey personality podcasts - we have refrained from opening any credit cards. We do currently hold 2 cards beyond our debits, but they are directly tied to our debit account and we take the hit immediately without adding payments to the end of our months.

Small steps we are taking is to remedy the lack of budgeting. We are determined not to be the statistic for struggling marriages, with fights revolving around money and financial stress.

I have gone back to using cash for grocery purchases and divvying out fun monies, so that has been helpful. In addition to these, I have been diligent to planning menus and keeping our grocery bill to a minimum. I will be honest and confess that we have not been diligent in paying down our debt and this is not helpful for our big picture family goals.

Some of the big picture work is being done, though - in the little things. The kids have all been waking up with us and we start the day reading a chapter of Proverbs together. It has been such sweet time in the mornings to enjoy family cuddles and Bible reading. The girls and I are also going through the creation account in Genesis and my heart melts in their excitement as they boldly ask, "God created everything?!" each time we read the passage.

AJ is learning how to put others before herself as she is constantly wanting to be the one who chooses the show and plays with the toys her sister is already enjoying. E is learning how to speak gently when she wants something and not yell and throw a fit to get her own way. T is learning how to eat and stay on the carpet. Coincidently, these all tie into what mommy is learning as well.

I am also on a book launch team, which goes through September, for Risen Motherhood. Laura Wifler and Emily Jensen are sisters-in-law who started a podcast together a few years ago and it has grown into a non-profit ministry for moms needing the reminder of the gospel. I love it and I am so enjoying the book, which comes out September 3. It has been eye-opening, to say the least, and such godly encouragement, conviction and help through some of my wrestling through selfish thought patterns and behaviors.



PJ and I are really enjoying the Parenthood book from Tripp again. We are working through it slowly, but I like that we are taking all of the principles and talking through them and working them into the way we speak to our kids. It's truly helping us to apply these principles into parenting instead of just reading for the sake of finishing a book together. It looks like we will not finish until end of September or October at our current rate.

Made it to August

I cannot believe that it is August already and our boy is 6 months old (well, that happened 30 July)! This month, the girls are trying out dance class and had their first trial today! AJ was shy at first, but after a few minutes, she was jumping right in; E absolutely loved every minute, but we will see if we have room in our budget to commit to registration, or if we can do some toddler stuff at home and then start each one at 5 for their birthdays. Now that we have Disney passes again, it may be something that we wait for, we will see.

Last month, PJ and I went through Proverbs, I believe we only missed 1 week total, so we are going through it again. Our parenting book is also coming along great. We have been really enjoying some deep discussions on how the gospel is influencing our parenting tactics. We both are working to not depend on harsh tones, but to depend upon grace to train them. I am so grateful for PJ and his continuous desire to love and serve our family well as he seeks the Lord.

The Lord has been so faithful to me, as well. My neck spasm is beginning to heal and - as I have also been going through The Listening Life by Adam S. McHugh - I have begun to truly prioritize my time, efforts and energies. I am slowing down significantly and truly working to listen - to others, to my body, to my children, my husband, friends, and family. I highly recommend this book and feel that everyone would benefit from the last few chapters in particular!

Anyway, PJ is doing so very well at work and I am so proud of him! He is officially a 2-time winner of the Paragon Award (which means he is the top pharmacy manager in his entire district). He is such a great manager and truly cares for his team.

AJ may be growing out of nap time soon, so we are working on reading so she will be equipped for an hour of quiet time. We were hoping to enroll her for Pre-K this year, but after speaking with a friend, I think hubby and I will have to further discuss our goals for official enrollment. We are currently and will continue to work through Pre-K Curriculum with her and E, but may put off enrollment.

E is doing so well with her Pre-K assignments! It helps that she has had her big sister to look up to. She sits and colors for at least 10 minutes and enjoys doing puzzles. She is definitely the more hands on, active learner, while AJ is the audio/visual learner. I am really looking forward to making our own filed trips.

T is growing like a weed! I just put a size 4 diaper on him today and he's pretty comfortable in 9 month onesies! He has one 7 hour stretch at night, but has had some sleep regression this week due to teething and a growth spurt. He has his 2 bottom front teeth in already and is still my happy boy.

Refreshed

Recently, Jessy 's best friend came home for the summer from her job abroad and she was able to spend a family weekend with all of us. On Friday, she and Jessy went ahead to her family's beach house and had brunch, got their nails done, had a yummy dinner, and enjoyed a kid free night.

On Saturday, it was unfortunate that her friend became sick; however, it was a nice time for Jessy to reflect, read, do some yoga, stretch, walk, nap, and simply soak in God's grace in her life. Having the time away was such an incredible proof of the Lord's faithfulness.

On Saturday afternoon, PJ and the kiddos came to enjoy dinner and some beach time along with another friend. After some game time, we were able to rest and Sunday morning was super fun! We enjoyed some tasty coffee and a quick breakfast before taking the kiddos to the aquarium. We saw seals, sea lions, otters, jelly fish and learned a little something about sustainable food choices. Afterward, we enjoyed Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. for the first time and then headed home.

Right now, Jessy is currently suffering from neck muscle spams, so it has been very difficult, yet humbling, to get through the last few days. We are still struggling with nightly routines, but we are about 20% through our book we have chosen for the summer. Though that is not far, this is the most consistent we have been at reading together. I believe we are about 15 for 22 on our Proverbs reading, also, so I am proud of our baby steps.

2019 Summer Goals

We will just work through 1 month at a time, but we do have some general summer goals. This month (July) we are reading 1 chapter of Proverbs every morning together. 1/1 done! That is a win.

This evening, we will start reading our parenting book from Paul David Tripp together called, Parenting: 14 Gospel Principles That will Radically Change Your Family. We started this book a couple of years ago and are really looking forward to picking it up again. Our goal is to finish by the end of the summer and then do a fall book.

We are also working toward building the habit of starting our nightly routines all together. Right now, daddy tends to do bed time with the kids, mommy stays downstairs to relax until she is too tired to practice decent sleep hygiene, and daddy snacks and relaxes once the kids are finally asleep and starts getting ready for bed while watching tech videos. We are working to have everyone together for kiddos' bed time routine and story time, getting ready for bed together and then relaxing and working on one of our family goals instead of "doing our own things."

What are some of your family summer goals?