He is Faithful

There have been many a difficult day since T arrived. Adjusting to 3 little ones is far more challenging than I thought and it takes work to take on that adjustment. Considering all of the goals and ambitions I have, it is humbling to remember the call of motherhood which the Lord has gifted me.

But Hannah did not go up, for she said to her husband, “As soon as the child is weaned, I will bring him, so that he may appear in the presence of the LORD  and dwell there forever.” Elkanah her husband said to her, “Do what seems best to   you; wait until you have weaned him; only, may the LORD establish his word.” So the woman remained and nursed her son until she weaned him.   

-1 Samuel 1:22-23

Hannah is always one of the women I return to when I want to focus on my selfish ambitions and worldly desires. Her absolute sacrifice of herself and gratitude for her son is one of the most convicting pieces of Scripture for me as I consider my own parenting.

Children are not a distraction from more important work, they are the most important work. 

-C.S. Lewis 

 In a moment of complete vulnerability and confession, I have to share that - at least once a day - I have to pep talk myself to step away from what I want to be doing (scrolling through a media feed, checking an email, doing the dishes, cleaning the bathroom, etc.) so that I can train my little ones up in the way they should go.

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. 

-Proverbs 22:6

I understand that this is not a promise that my children will be a Christian when they grow up if I do everything right. 1. That's impossible, as it is not my superpower to change the hearts of my children and 2. The Proverbs are general words of wisdom and insight written to guide Solomon's readers, not prophecies. It is a, however, a guide to help me remember that my children will learn how to do life from me and my husband. How we speak to one another and to others is how they will learn to speak. How we address conflict is how they will learn to address conflict. How we patiently (or impatiently) walk alongside them is how they will learn to walk alongside others.

There are many hobbies, service opportunities, jobs, and projects that I want so deeply to engage in. Some of them are absolutely helpful for bringing the children along and teaching them healthy habits, ways to serve others, and opportunities to find balance. Others are not probable and need to be let go of for now, as they require time that needs to be given to the growth of my littles.

I forget that this season is a blessing, the snuggles and kisses and hugs and seeing the growth day by day. I forget that these circumstances are a privilege, being home with them, seeing every little moment, saving myself heartache on dropping them off with other caregivers who don't know every little cry and won't record every moment of laughter. These are the good old days.

We always talk about how "the grass is greener on the other side." What if the grass is just greener where it is watered? Maybe, just maybe, my grass would be greener, my family would thrive, if I took my time and practiced patience in nurturing them and devoting my efforts to teach them and serve them instead of carving out pockets of time for self-service?

Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. 

-Psalm 37:4

What if the Lord has greater desires for me to pursue if I would delight in Him, His Word and His calling upon my life - surrendering my worldly passions and trading them for life to its fullest in Him?

I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. 

-1John 10:10